This week on The Horror Blogs’s Weekly Round Table, we were asked ‘What are your horror related resolutions for 2007?’ So, here’ s mine!

My 2007 Horror Resolutions:

-Actually manage to attend a Horror Con!

-Finish a few random short stories that I have floating about.

-Expand on an ‘Encyclopedia of Crappy Movies’ book idea that’s been brewing for a bit.

-Actually getting around to recording and launching my Midnight Muenster podcast that I’ve been putting off for most of 2006

-Complete my Hammer Horror collection.

-Find my wife a kick ass Elvira costume. (who doesn’t need one of those for their wife?)

-Stop having hopes for remakes

-Expand my network of fellow horror bloggers! (I’ve already bugged a few of you!)

-Declare my man-love for Peter Cushing!

So there you go.

So that begs the question: What are your horror related resolutions for 2007? Hit the comments box and let us know!

Happy New Year!

Allrighty. I’ve been off track due to a real world test I had to take this week, but now that’s behind us and let’s try to get back to a regular pace.

Seeing as it’s Halloween time, it’s fun to post something special. Since I posted last week bitching and moaning about Stuff Magazine’s sorry excuse for a Scream Queen list, I figured it’s only fair and expected that I share my own ideas of what passes as a scream queen.

So below you’ll find me list, and a brief explanation as to what qualifies this bevy of beatuies for the illustrious title. My criteria may be somewhat different than yours, but I think most will agree to some extent. For me, many times a Queen qualifies on the sheer prolificness of their body…..of genre work. Some are there for iconic looks in a flick. Some are there for sheer talent. And some are there for boobs. (Hey, I’m not gonna lie to you)

So read on folks for the First Annual Cinema Fromage Scream Queen List. These lovely ladies are not ranked in any particular order aside from alphabetical. There’s so many, how can I pick just one favorite? (If you’ve been reading the site, you already know I’m biased towards Ingrid Pitt. Va va voom!)

And hey, let’s throw some interaction in there. Do you agree? Disagree? Did I miss somebody? Let me know! (It sure would be cool if we had some forums you could log onto to discuss topics such as these!)

Adrienne Barbeau

Adrienne Barbeau, aside from being fairly easy on the eyes, has a storied history that has flirted back and forth across the genrea lines. Sure she had some stints with The Love Boat and Maude, but she’s had some stand out roles in horror land. With leads in classics such as The Fog and Swamp Thing, not to mention the sheer number of bit parts and cameos you see her show up in. Factor in that she’s still working in the genre now days with recent major role in HBO’s Carnivale and cameo’s in recent underated laugh fests such as The Convent and Ms. Barbeau has truly become a horror icon.

Angela Bettis

Angela Bettis may not fill the typically curvy shoes of Scream Queen’s past, but her work will get you past that factor in a hurry. With her role as the titular May in Lucky McKee’s May, Bettis comes from a smaller unkown roles, and more or less smacks you square in the jaw. The sheer creepiness of her portrayal of May is wonderful, and makes one situp and take notice. As the years rolled by and you start to see her in more and more genre leads such as in Masters of Horro: Sick Girl, Tobe Hooper’s Toolbox Murders, and even jumping into the directors chair for a role reversal directing Lucky McKee in the upcoming Roman, Angela Bettis is quickly approaching the prolific pace of say…Ms. Barbeau, and will be a stand out in the years to come. With some of the crap labled horror coming out of hollywood these days, I’d rank Angela Bettis as by far one of the best in terms of sheer creepiness.

Jamie Lee Curtis

What’s not to say about Jamie Lee? While not as prolific in horror as the first two we’ve discussed, Jamie Lee was the lead in one of the biggest horror franchises in American cinema. With out Jamie Lee, Halloween just isn’t quite the same. With such an iconic role, in such an iconic flick, Jamie Lee was a stand out in horror chicks that actually fight back. Not one to lay down and run blindly up the stairs until there was nothing left for her but to lay down and die, Laurie Strode fought back, and stayed relatively smart about it. (and totally unconnected to horror, she’s married to freakin’ Nigel Tufnel!)

Elvira

Elvira’s a no brainer. When one mentions ‘creature feature host’, I almost guarantee if they’re male, their first thought is of Elvira’s cleavage. Boobs, bad jokes, iconic style makes Elvira a Scream Queen Deluxe. Let’s not forget either that in her mid 50′s, she’s still at it, and she’s still got it. Throw in a few movies that are so chock full of cornball humor and bursting bustlines of her own, and she’s a ‘well rounded’ fit for the Scream Queen title.

Deborah Foreman

Deborah Foreman may be light on the horror portfolio, but at least one of her roles is a stand out. With a minor role in 1988′s Waxwork she was a viable screamer, but in the lead role of the 1986 classic April Fool’s Day, she was down right fantastic. (Technically, you can count 3 horror roles for her!) Always cute and a bit ‘girl next door’, one could always recognize Ms. Foreman when she showed up on the silver screen. Being a bit of an 80′s cinema mainstay in general with roles in Real Genius and her biggest role, Julie in Valley Girl, she was a bonafied babe with some credentials in the field.

Sherri Moon Zombie

Ah, Sherri Moon Zombie. She’s been in a total of three horror flicks. Her appearance in Tobe Hooper’s Toolbox Murders was rather unimpressive, but she was up against a master in the lead role with Angela Bettis. Still, she was excellent eye candy. Her true stand out role though, was in her hubby’s first two stabs at film making, House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. Her manic insanity as the Firefly family’s youngest member Baby, is one of sheer WTF!?! and ‘That chick’s nuts!’ All the while, she manages to be cute to boot. Being married to up and coming horror director Rob Zombie, I can almost guratee that she’ll be showing up in all of his flick’s to come. At least we can hope. And hey, that’s not all bad, because Rob sure liked showing off her backside in DR’s, and well, we could all use some more Sheri Moon-moon’s.

Misty Mundae

There’s a strong chance that many of you have never heard of Misty Mundae. This isn’t so surprising, as up until now she’s stuck mostly to Skinemax levels of pure cinematic trash. But holy crap is she prolific. Taking a look at her imdb page, by the tender young age of 27, she has made 58 films. Every single one them are trashy sendups of something bigger. Take a look at such classics as Spiderbabe, Mummy Raider and my first taste, The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String. While none of her flicks I would consider ‘good’, they’re all chock full of laughs, and Skinematic takes on just about anything you can think of. The girl’s not shy, and you can tell she’s having fun producing the crap she does, and for that, she makes the list.

Ingrid Pitt

Oh boy. I need a moment.

Ingrid Pitt may not be as well know on American shores, but she is a stand out of the Hammer Horror Studios. For myself, Ms. Pitt defines ‘womanly’ with her curves alone. Throw in vampire fangs and the polish accent, and well, there you go.

After watching The House that Dripped Blood the Mrs. and I are both in agreement that every house should come with Ingrid Pitt in a coffin installed in the basement.

Linnea Quigley

Linnea Quigley is another woman that defines the term ‘prolific’. With 92 credits on her imdb page, Ms. Quigley has been around the acting block, and nearly every one of them has been cheesy and horrific. Combined with the fact that Quigley is not shy in the least bit, you can pretty gurantee that if you see ‘Linnea Quigley’ in the opening credits, you’re going to get an eyeful! From a nekkid zombie named Trash in The Return of the Living Dead
, to a Hollywood Chainsaw Hooker, you’ll be hard pressed to find an actress that has given so much to the 80′s horror genre. For a pure WTF!?!? moment, take a look at Night of the Demons and watch for where she keeps her lipstick. It’ll warp your gourd, but excite you at the same time.

P.J. Soles

Last but not least, we have 80′s cutie pie P.J. Soles. Once again PJ isn’t as prolific as others in the CF Scream Queen list, but she’s a fairly big player none the less. Being the first to show the goods in the Carpenter classic Halloween (she was referenced in the rules in Scream dontcha know) and as a sidekick in Stephen King’s Carrie, PJ’s had some roles out there in horrorland. She’s also hollowed out a bit of a niche in the ‘cult’ area as Riff Randall in the 1979 Ramone’s joint, Rock and Roll High School.

Even though she may be best known for receiving the Aunt Jemima treatment in the comedy classic Stripes, PJ has us hooked. You may not remember the name, but I bet you remember the face.

While I did say that PJ Soles was the last but not least, I felt the need to hand out an honorable mention for this year’s list. Nothing says ‘Scream Queen’ more than a guy in Cashmere & Wool skirts with a penchant for horrible horror!

Ed Wood Jr.

It’s halloween time, and that means halloween and horror lists in the newstand mags. So, seeing as I like cheesy horror flicks from the good-ole days, and the busty ladies contained within them, when I stumbled across Stuff Magazine’s November issue, (well, not so much stumbled across, but grabbed from my mailbox) I took notice when I saw their ‘Scream Queen’ list.

Considering myself a bit of a Scream Queen afficianado, I of course had to critique their list. Aiming mostly for the ‘current’ crop of Scream Queens, the list is some what limited. On most I can see where they are coming from, some my first reaction was ‘Who?’ and one in particular frankly pissed me off. So, let’s see what we got here.

Rachel Nichols

Pretty enough to be a Scream Queen? Sure. She’s got the bits and pieces, could pass as ‘sleazy murder victim making out in woods #2′ in any Friday the 13th flick. But, would anybody have any clue as to who she is, had I not linked to her IMDb page? I sure didn’t! With a small role in the 2005 Amityville Horror remake, and a small role in Lucky McKee’s The Woods, (which is almost 0 marketing, just out on video) she’s had two bit roles in one big name production, and one unknown production. Scream Queen? Maybe someday, but let’s get some more meat under that horror genre before we go that far.

Jessica Alba

Babe? Duh. Scream Queen? She’s had a lead a mediocre (still amusing) teen horror laugh up in Idle Hands, and a lead in the upcoming Japanese remake The Eye, along with some fantasy/dark fantasy leads mixed in as well. Perhaps a bit premature for the full title of Scream Queen, but she’s on her way. People aren’t going to remember her for Idle Hands, but The Eye, Fantastic Four, and Dark Angel, they will. Let’s see what slasher-fare she adds in the future.

Asia Argento

Starting her climb to Screamdom as far back as 86′s Demons 2,
Asia Argento has been around the horror block a few times. Not to mention, she’s bonafide considering she’s the daughter of gorefest director great Dario Argento. She may not be my cup of tea, but she’s the most qualified of the bunch.

Rose McGowan

Rose has a few horror flicks under her belt, some more in the pipe and frankly, she’s freakin’ hot! So, she’ll pass muster. Hell, she dated Marylin Manson, how more freakish you want?

Jessic Biel

Chainsaw remake, Blade Trinity, she has a couple horror flicks under her belt, yet hasn’t quite reached the Scream Queen pedestal. Chainsaw showed us that she has the pipes, so therer’s potential yet. We’ll stick with Scream Princess.

Naomi Watts

With two turns at the Japanese Remake The Ring and Ring 2, and taking a stab at original scream queen Fay Wray, Naomi’s reached close enough to bonafide to pass. She does feel a bit like high society slumming it a bit when she hits the horror circuit, but she’ll pass.

Cerina Vincent

Um….Who? You’d think a scream queen would at least be identifiable.

Nicki Aycox

Again, who? We’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here folks. Yes, Jeepers Creepers II would count as a horror flick, but she’s not much more than a glorified extra.

Jordan Ladd

Jordan Ladd will qualify for the newest era of Scream Queen, with her gooey roll in Cabin Fever, an troubled young lady in Madhouse, a turn in Broken Lizard’s cheese fest Club Dread, and an upcoming roll in Tarantino’s Grindhouse. Her credentials check out, she makes the cut.

Now to the infurating part. Not one to normally follow the lives of random celbrities, this last one takes the cake, because frankly, you just can’t ignore it, because she’s freaking everywhere. According to Stuff Mag, one shitty acting job, in a shitty remake make’s one a Scream Queen, so they’ve finished off their Scream Queen list with none other than….

Paris Hilton

*take a deep breath, count to 10*

What.

So now days starring in a sub par remake of House of Wax, makes one a Scream Queen. They even bypassed the star of the film, Elisha Cuthbert who is not only better looking, but she’s a real actress. I mean come on, Cuthbert even starred in Are You Afraid of the Dark, the kids ghost story show from years back. Paris Hilton? The only other horror related flick that I can recall her from is when we had to see her nasty no-no parts in lime green night vision.

Adding Paris Hilton to the Scream Queen list sullies the name of Scream Queen in itself. Where once the requirements were looks, a portfolio of cheese fests and penchant for boobery, now days it simply requires being a whore. I would almost gurantee that places like Stuff Mag get paid a heavy stipend for slapping her mug on any list pertaining movies, which is why I haven’t included her pic in this post. They want me to post it? Her PR machine can me as well.

If Paris Hilton is the future of horror folks, then Horror is dead.

So, my rant’s done. I’m fully aware that magazines make such lists as these to do nothing but spur discussion of themselves, and I’ve fallen to that ploy. But when you’re going to slap those fans that make the Scream Queen’s what they are, I’m here to defend us.

Stay tuned later this week, and I’ll show you what a Scream Queen truly is. Until then, enjoy the non skanks.

Any of ‘friends’ from back in high school days make any comments, I’ll pout.

Pumpkinhead

A group of city kids head to the backcountry for some beer and motorbikes. While showing off at the Harley Grocery, they accidentally run over Ed Harley’s (Lance Henriksen) little boy. As the bad boy of the group runs away, the others make an attempt to locate help. Leaving Steve behind with the boy, he’s the one left to inform Ed of the accident. Later, in a fit of rage as the boy passes away from his injuries, Ed decides to locate a local swamp witch to conjure forth the nasty Pumpkinhead, the backwoods revenge demon. Did all these kids deserve revenge? That’s the problem Ed struggles with as Pumpkinhead begins his path of slaughter.

Making his directorial debut, makeup master Stan Winston gives us an 80′s fright fest that’s a step away from normal 80′s fare. Where most slashers from the 80′s rely on boobs, jumps and slim atmosphere, Stan gives us a slasher that relys on story over special effects. Centered in the backwoods of some long forgotten area of the country, Pumpkinhead starts as a slow burner taking ample time to give us a bit of a background before people start to bite it. For some this may be a turn off, making it hard to get to the gooey parts of the flick.

Once we arrive at the good part, we enter familiar territory. Goo, gore and good old fashioned monster mangling make the first thirty minuts of Pumpkinhead worth sitting through. Sometimes comical, sometimes a bit scare worthy, Pumpkinhead himself fails to treat us to anything new and innovative in the kill department, but he does provide some good cringes as the city kids drop off one by one. Combined with B movie badass Lance Henriksen turning in a solid performance as backwoods dad, and Pumpkinhead makes for a good Fridaynight watch.

Nothing new, nothing craptastic, Pumpkinhead lands squarely in the middle of the road for 80′s cheese fests, but it’s worth a late night cable watch when you’re coming down from the Friday Coffee IV injections.

3 Backwoods Lance’s out of 5

“The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. ”

February 20, 2005 marked the end of an era. Placing a bullet firmly into his own head, the late great Hunter S. Thompson ceased to breathe. A man of his own means, and the father of Gonzo journalism, HST was a man for many years that I considered an idol… more for his writing, life view and outlook, rather than his capacity for drugs. Many of his political writings veered off to in the realms of mindless ranting, but he never failed to bring an raw and pulsing truth to the surface. It was all a matter if you were man enough to wade through the mind of a madman to get to said truth.

In 1998, Terry Gilliam and Johnny Depp brought the story of Raoul Duke to the big screen with the trippy and sensational Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This was not the first Hollywood incarnation of the man however.

Where the Buffalo Roam

Where Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas focused solely on the tale from the book, Where The Buffalo Roam gives us HST in a conglomeration of tales from the Duke, a large part semi-biographical.

Starring Bill Murray as the infamous HST and Peter Boyle as Dr. Gonzo, the frenetic life and craziness of the dynamic duo are brought to life. Where Johnny Depp played Thompson to near perfect imitation, Bill Murray gives us the patented insanity and bad fashion sense, yet it still feels like Bill Murray. With small flashes brilliance throughout, Murray hits a mark, and you would swear you were staring at the original Duke, but outside those flashes, it feels like Carl Spackler all over again. With Peter Boyle, we see a side of him most will be unfamiliar with after years of Everybody Loves Raymond. Drug induced rage and mayhem abound, yet once again, a completely different interpretation from Fear and Loathing. Still, it was quite fun to see Peter Boyle outside of his usual mold of grumpy old man, or singing ‘PUTTIN ON THE RIIIIIITZ!’.

For those tuning in to Where the Buffalo Roam without knowing the subject matter, they may feel a little lost. If they have never been treated to the HST experience, they may wonder why somebody made a movie about a crazy reporter and his sidekick. For those of us that are in the know however, Where the Buffalo Roam is a fun trip, if not a little date. Fear and Loathing it’s not, but thats okay. Where The Buffalo Roam shot for semi-truth, where Fear and Loathing shot for true to life.

HST fans must see, but if you’re not a fan, give it a rent.

3.5 Gonzo journalists out of 5

“We can’t stop now, this is bat country.”

RIP Good Dr.

The folks over at Channel 101 have, for a long time now, but bringing us the best in oddball tv shorts for some time now. The brainchild of Rob Schrab, (I’ve already told you to check out Twigger’s Holiday, if you haven’t you’re slacking!) Channel 101 is home to many time wasting shorts to make your day go faster.

Recently, they’ve launched a new ‘Prime Time’ show called What’s in Your Fridge? staring Michael Thomas, Runner up on ‘The Next Food Network Star’.

There’s a good twist, give it a watch. It fits in well with Halloween.

She’s back and she’s still boobalicious, though this time…not quite so exciting.

The Countess Dracula

“Mawwige, sweet mawwige…”

When October 11th rolled around, it marked the 9th anniversary of me and the Mrs. When it’s time to think of gifts for your loved one, most people tend to lean towards the standard classics. (for the record, the 9th anniversary is ‘leather’ which I would have been perfectly happy with!) When it comes to the Mrs. and I….we tend to be a little bored with the standard anniversary formula. After catching our new favorite The Vampire Lovers on cable late one night, and after watching it every time it came upon the boob tube (pun intended) the Mrs. and I both decided on the same idea when it came for this year’s anniversary gift. So, with a quick googling we stumbled across an out of print copy of the The Vampire Lovers, and this one had the added bonus of an as yet unseen Ingrid Pitt/Hammer Horror flick! Seeing as there’s no finer way of saying ‘I love you’ than Ingrid Pitt and her….assetts, so it was decided what our anniversary gift would be this year!

This time around, Ms. Pitt tackles the age old tale of Elizabeth Bathory, the Hungarian Countess who bathed in the blood of virgins to retain her youth.
A tale told many times over the years in countless books and films, Countess Dracula does not stray far from the story we’ve all known for many years. For those not in the know, the aging countess (played by Pitt) discovers that fresh blood from a young virgin will restore her youthful beauty. With mind set on dallying the young army officer staying in her castle, she soon enlists the help of her nurse and steward to obtain said virgins for her. Soon, Pitt bursts out in all her glory, much like the corset she’s wearing, and the castle falls into fear and mystery as young chambermaids begin to dissapear one after another.

As I’ve said for every Hammer flick I’ve reviewed thus far, Hammer = Atmosphere. Countess Dracula has atmosphere indeed, however this time they seem to be lacking. The budget constraints are clear as we see the cheap sets, sub par aging makeup work, and the most glaring example, every one is wearing the same costume throughout the entire film. Some have said that Hammer rushed Countess Dracula to capitilize on their reigning horror standing and Ingrid Pitt’s bosoms, but they set out with a story to tell, and in that, they accomplished their feat.

Countess Dracula is run of the mill as far as Hammer goes, giving us a film that is slow paced and low on jump scares. Sadly, the film is low on scares in general. Seeing as the story has been told a million times, Hammer fails to spice up the story enough to keep you on the edge of your seat. (Ingrid Pitt’s a good attempt though!) That is not to say that it’s painful to sit through, it’s just not as engaging as normal Hammer fare. Where the plot and pace lag behind, the performance of our leads help pick up the pace, as you start to feel sympathetic for characters as they are all entwined into the Countesses web of death and drainage.

Not one I would recommend buying on it’s own merit, Countess Dracula is mediocre at best. Seeing as it comes in a double feature with Vampire Lovers however, it’s a steal at $10 for the two, and worth watching at least once. And down to the nitty gritty, it has Ingrid Pitt. The boobage factor is low in this one, but she’s still the reigning CF Scream Queen, so why not? At least the scenery’s good!

The real money is for The Vampire Lovers, which I expect all of you to watch at least weekly if you pick it up.

2.5 Peaks of Pitt out of 5

Frankenstein Created Woman

The good Baron Frankenstein is a good man, with a passion for science and…well, science. His tastes drift a little to the eccentric though when he chooses his lab experiments. His latest is a device to trap the soul of a dead person, preserving the soul. When the Baron’s faithful assitant Hans is wrongly executed for murder, Frankenstein puts his theories to the test and captures Hans’s soul. So what is a mad scientist to do with a trapped soul? Well find a new body for it of course! It just so happens that Hans’s scarred and crippled girlfriend, so distraught at the execution of Hans, throws herself from a bridge and drowns herself to join him. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Frankenstein repairs her broken body, and places the soul of Hans inside. Soon, as Hans becomes aware, he uses the body of his dearly departed to enact his revenge on those who framed him for murder. Villagers revolt, storm Castle Frankenstein, (Well, house of Frankenstein Really) and soon we’re on a headlong rush across the British countryside to keep the beautiful Hans from killing again. (I’m so confused)

It’s Hammer time once again, and like most Hammer flicks, Frankenstein created woman is chock full of gothic atmosphere and Peter Cushing. Where Christopher Lee was Hammer’s trademark Dracula, Peter Cushing was their iconic Dr. Frankenstein. A man of many faces during the Hammer Era, Mr. Cushing seldom failed at delivering a top notch performance, and Frankenstein Created Woman does nothing but enforce that record. Single minded and utilitarian in his take on Dr. Frank, Cushing bypasses the zany and manic of Frankensteins past, and instead aims for a man that is cold and calculating, with a high disregard for human life when it comes to furthering his research.

Our plot for Frankenstein Created Woman focuses more on the monsterous disregard of human life brought to life by Peter Cushing. Seeing the wrongful execution of his trusty assistant does nothing to sadden the Baron, who instead jumps straight to his calculations to obtain the body in the needed amount of time to operate his soul capturing device. Reconstructing to he scarred Christina, she transcends a sad and distraught young girl, to being a product of the Baron’s work, and treated as such. Nothing bypasses the importantance of the man’s experiments. Nothing.

Frankenstein Created Woman is a fun little Hammer flick, and is one that be viewed by all fans of the genre. Following the Hammer formula for atomstphere and ambiance, Frank Makes Babes as a slow creeper. Not known for too many jump scares, or in your face horror at all, they instead focus on mystery, tension and the fear of a man seperated from the human condition, looking in at us as nothing but cogs in his many wheels. Perhaps a man with a god complex morso that a zany mad scientist, the Hammer take on Frank is a unique view on this tale that’s been told time and time again.

Much fun, despite the fact that I’m such a Hammer fanboi! Watch it, you’ll like it! (FYI, this one’s safe for the squeamish)

4 cushy Cushing’s causing chaos out of 5

It’s that time of year again, time for season premieres and series premieres out the wazoo. With so many shows starting for the first time, and continuing cliff hangers from the previous seasons, it becomes a bit overwhelming for the budding media junkie. Seeing how I fit the bill perfectly for the term ‘media junkie’, I’ve taken a slight break from the cheese fest on DVD to check out the latest offerings on the small screen.

The Must Watch list…

Lost

Lost is back for season 3, and boy did it come in with a bang. Long known for ongoing mystery and suspense, Season 3 started off with a few small answers, and whole host of new questions. As a long time addict, this was my most anticipated return of the new season, and luckily, it didn’t dissapoint. A show so easy to spoil, I will refrain from details. Still, with just enough sci fi and suspense, it is worth watching for all of those that may be interested in ‘Cinema Fromage’. If you have yet to succumb to the Lost addiction, hit the rental store for seasons 1 and 2. You can’t jump in at the middle for this one.

Heroes

Adds for Heroes had been tempting me for a bit throughout the summer. Strangers who wake up one morning with super powers? Hey, I’m game! Heroes explores the mental paths these various strangers take on coming to grips with their new found abilities. Engaging and character centric, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the ongoing on drama as the series unfolds. On the downside, it’s unfolding a bit slowly, and for those not quite as hardcore in the tv viewing habits may give up before the good stuff starts. Still, with it’s Lost-Light approach with mystery, cliffhangers and character development, this one’s easy to sink your teeth into. We’re only two episodes in, so it’s not to late for that first hit!

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Branching from our normal chicanery in the supernatural, Studio 60 is a dramedy focusing on the behind the scenes of a SNL clone. Written by the creators of The West Wing, it’s no suprise that the show is filled with character depth and involving story arches. Catching me a bit off guard as I settled in to watch the first two, the show is suprisingly catching and engrossing, and makes for a fun hour of televsion. There are good laughs, there is good drama, there are good hooks. This one should stick for awhile, and does well to fill that ‘non-freaky’ niche if your loved one wants to you watch something with them not involving blood, guts, ghosts or scifi.

Dexter

I’ve heard little of Dexter over the last few weeks. Not one to watch Showtime regularly, I missed all of their TV spots, and not being I subscriber to most of the entertainment rags, I missed the bandwagon completely. Lucky for me, with the advent of all the TV networks finally embracing the internet and broadband, I was able to catch the pilot from Showtimes free stream of the pilot. Dexter tells the tale of Dexter. By day Dexter is an analytical forensic officer, specializing in serial killers and blood spatters. By night, Dexter freelances as a serial killer himself, knocking off the very killers he himself has been investigating by day. The pilot episode was impressive to say the least, and chock full of quirky hints, and creepy atmosphere. Starring Michael C Hall of Six Foot Under fame, Dexter has made an impressive debut, and has managed to suck me in fully. Check out the streaming web version, you horror fanatcis will be happy you’ve done so.

The Be Wary List….

Grey’s Anatomy

As embarrased as I am to admit, Grey’s Anatomy has me sucked in fully. Normally not one for romantic comedies, or lovey dovey stuff in general, Grey’s Anatomy offeres enough to get one such as me to look past it. Engaging drama, good laughs and solid story archs abound, help to pull one through the gushy stuff. I honestly could care less about Erin Grey and Dr. McDreamy, but by god I’m pulling for George, he’s a good guy. Yet another one to appease the loved one if they think you watch too much of the splatter, Grey’s Anatomy is a fun hour of TV, and won’t make you want to shoot yourself by the end! Just don’t watch it as a ‘hospital drama’. You’ll get frustrated. Watch for a romantic dramedy that takes place in hospital, and you’ll enjoy it.

Survivor: Cook Islands

Once a rabid fan, I’ve now become a bit…bored with this reality stalwart, but here I am once again drawn to it week by week. The latest installment is pretty much the exact same show we’ve been watching for years. They made a desperate grab at attention at the beginning of the season by seperating the tribes by race, which many people became offended by, although I myself really don’t see why. It’s obvious it was nothing but a plea for attention, and they accomplished exactly what they aimed for with everybody crying out about racism. People were talking about Survivor again, which brought more people to the table when the series premiered. Oldest trick in the book. Regardless, this is a CBS primetime show. How racist do you think they would be? Not very. Much as I predicted, at the start of week 3 they broke the racist tribes down to 2 mixed tribes, exactly as they have done in the past when they cried for attention with Men vs. Women, Old vs. Young, etc. etc. There’s nothing new here, Mark Burnett is not a raging racist. Still, if you’re a fan, there’s some new events to watch, and new personalities to figure out. Unfortunately, three weeks in and there’s still nobody that I can get behind. I myself will watch this season, but it may be my last. (Of course I say this every year!)

The Things to Watch For List…

Jericho

Jericho is a new CBS series, focusing on a small country town imediately after a nuclear attack on US soil. Post apocalyptic with a touch of the Waltons, Jericho is slower paced, focusing on how the small town with deal with their new found solitude.

Always a sucker for post apocalypse scenarios, I was initially excited by the premise of Jericho. The downfall though, is the main actor, Skeet Ulrich. He’s been out of the public eye since is short stab at stardom in Scream. Do we really need him back now? Aside from that, Jericho has a solid premise that we haven’t seen yet in last year’s post Lost supernatural glut that stormed the airwaves. On the two episodes I’ve watched, the show was engaging in their efforst to show a small towns dealings with the post nuclear holocaust, all while cut off from the outside world. However, for me, the show came across as too slow, too little excitement, and too little mystery to keep the viewer hooked. I still haven’t counted Jericho out completely, however this one may get shuffled to the ‘Wait for the DVD’ pile, so I can catch it all at once sans commercials. (Such a beautiful age we live in)

Battlestar Gallactica

Last but certainly not least, the Sci Fi Channel original series is back for it’s thirs Season starting Friday the 6th. Geekdom is in an uproar in anticipation of the darker and gritier retelling of the classic series, and with good reason. Unfortunately for me, at the risk of my geek cred here, I have yet to watch the 2nd Season as the the series was moved to the wait for DVD pile, as my time is limited with the glut of TV, and the sheer amount of crappy flicks I tend to watch! Still, that is not to say that show is subpar, it’s quite excellent to the tell the truth. For me though, it’s one that is much better to watch in one marathon glut and be done with in one shot. Regardless, if you have time free on Friday nights, give a once over, you’ll like it.

Combine 1 part Roger Corman, 1 part David Carridine, and 1 part Sylvester Stallone, sprinkle in some blood, maiming and old folk home euthanasia, and what do you get?

A recipe for awesome.

Death Race 2000

Er…sorry, I got confused, let’s try this poster…

There we go!

It’s the year 2000, and there’s a new national pastime across the nation. Is it baseball? Heck no! It’s hit and run driving! Every year nearly an entire nation waits anxiously for the Trans Continental Road Race. Five drivers and their navigators race headlong across the country, in an effor to be the first to arrive at new LA. They don’t have to be first though. They can win by points as well! How do they earn points you ask? By driving over innocent bystanders along their way! 50 points for toddlers, 100 points for senior citizens, watch as our fearless drivers race for fame and fortune. We’ll see the likes of Frankenstine (David Carridine), two time winner of the Trans Continental and Joe Viterbo, (ADRIAN!) the Chicago mafioso with a penchant for murder.

Seldom before have I been treated to such a shear spectacle of cheese and camp. (Well, since Knightriders anyways) So overwhelmed have I become, that I can pretty much gurantee this review will be filled with nothing more than sheer fanboi adulation. You’ll have that though.

As a kid, there were few things I loved in life more that Hot Wheels cars and cartoons. As an extension to that, when I later discovered the Hannah Barbera classic Wacky Races, it was a natural fit. Zany cars, zany antics, dastardly dick’s (SP: Dick Dastardly, sorry bout that) my sugar cereal fueled brain was always left in top gear, and pure glee. So as I settled in to watch Death Race 2000, and first glimpsed the custom Hot Wheels like cars, and their cartoon like drivers, some synapse in the back of my brain fired. Is that Captain Crunch I smell? No school today? This movie’s going to rock.

Everything about Death Race 2000 oozes pure farce and send up. From the colorful cast of characters, to the insane plot (and point system) of a Nationally backed race of murder and mayhem. Cars straight out of a six year olds fantasy world helps a lot too. We have Frankenstein, who’s lost nearly every body part throughout the years, to have them replaced with mechanical parts. There’s Calamity Jane, the rootin tootin cowgirl and her Bull car. Matilda the Hun, the Swastika Sweetie and her Sherman Tank motif. (Let’s not forget her navigator, Herman the German) The list goes on and on.

There is little about Death Race 2000 that takes itself seriously, and for we the viewers, that is what makes this film a must see. Throughout the film, the overlying message throughout is the TV media feeding the average citizen’s lust for blood, and the presidents embrace of this philosophy. After sitting through Death Race 2000, it becomes eerie how the underlying messsage has transcended to todays existence of wars, reality television, and the average consumers want for 15 minutes of fame, and $500,000. I’d wager to guess that even Roger Corman himself had no idea he would be so profound thirty years later.

Death Race 2000 is the ride of a lifetime. If you’re a fan of cheese and camp, this one sits high upon the lofty heights of the must buy pile, and you owe it to yourself to see it.

5 profound Corman’s out of 5