Allrighty. I’ve been off track due to a real world test I had to take this week, but now that’s behind us and let’s try to get back to a regular pace.
Seeing as it’s Halloween time, it’s fun to post something special. Since I posted last week bitching and moaning about Stuff Magazine’s sorry excuse for a Scream Queen list, I figured it’s only fair and expected that I share my own ideas of what passes as a scream queen.
So below you’ll find me list, and a brief explanation as to what qualifies this bevy of beatuies for the illustrious title. My criteria may be somewhat different than yours, but I think most will agree to some extent. For me, many times a Queen qualifies on the sheer prolificness of their body…..of genre work. Some are there for iconic looks in a flick. Some are there for sheer talent. And some are there for boobs. (Hey, I’m not gonna lie to you)
So read on folks for the First Annual Cinema Fromage Scream Queen List. These lovely ladies are not ranked in any particular order aside from alphabetical. There’s so many, how can I pick just one favorite? (If you’ve been reading the site, you already know I’m biased towards Ingrid Pitt. Va va voom!)
And hey, let’s throw some interaction in there. Do you agree? Disagree? Did I miss somebody? Let me know! (It sure would be cool if we had some forums you could log onto to discuss topics such as these!)
Adrienne Barbeau, aside from being fairly easy on the eyes, has a storied history that has flirted back and forth across the genrea lines. Sure she had some stints with The Love Boat and Maude, but she’s had some stand out roles in horror land. With leads in classics such as The Fog and Swamp Thing, not to mention the sheer number of bit parts and cameos you see her show up in. Factor in that she’s still working in the genre now days with recent major role in HBO’s Carnivale and cameo’s in recent underated laugh fests such as The Convent and Ms. Barbeau has truly become a horror icon.
Angela Bettis may not fill the typically curvy shoes of Scream Queen’s past, but her work will get you past that factor in a hurry. With her role as the titular May in Lucky McKee’s May, Bettis comes from a smaller unkown roles, and more or less smacks you square in the jaw. The sheer creepiness of her portrayal of May is wonderful, and makes one situp and take notice. As the years rolled by and you start to see her in more and more genre leads such as in Masters of Horro: Sick Girl, Tobe Hooper’s Toolbox Murders, and even jumping into the directors chair for a role reversal directing Lucky McKee in the upcoming Roman, Angela Bettis is quickly approaching the prolific pace of say…Ms. Barbeau, and will be a stand out in the years to come. With some of the crap labled horror coming out of hollywood these days, I’d rank Angela Bettis as by far one of the best in terms of sheer creepiness.
Jamie Lee Curtis
What’s not to say about Jamie Lee? While not as prolific in horror as the first two we’ve discussed, Jamie Lee was the lead in one of the biggest horror franchises in American cinema. With out Jamie Lee, Halloween just isn’t quite the same. With such an iconic role, in such an iconic flick, Jamie Lee was a stand out in horror chicks that actually fight back. Not one to lay down and run blindly up the stairs until there was nothing left for her but to lay down and die, Laurie Strode fought back, and stayed relatively smart about it. (and totally unconnected to horror, she’s married to freakin’ Nigel Tufnel!)
Elvira’s a no brainer. When one mentions ‘creature feature host’, I almost guarantee if they’re male, their first thought is of Elvira’s cleavage. Boobs, bad jokes, iconic style makes Elvira a Scream Queen Deluxe. Let’s not forget either that in her mid 50′s, she’s still at it, and she’s still got it. Throw in a few movies that are so chock full of cornball humor and bursting bustlines of her own, and she’s a ‘well rounded’ fit for the Scream Queen title.
Deborah Foreman may be light on the horror portfolio, but at least one of her roles is a stand out. With a minor role in 1988′s Waxwork she was a viable screamer, but in the lead role of the 1986 classic April Fool’s Day, she was down right fantastic. (Technically, you can count 3 horror roles for her!) Always cute and a bit ‘girl next door’, one could always recognize Ms. Foreman when she showed up on the silver screen. Being a bit of an 80′s cinema mainstay in general with roles in Real Genius and her biggest role, Julie in Valley Girl, she was a bonafied babe with some credentials in the field.
Sherri Moon Zombie
Ah, Sherri Moon Zombie. She’s been in a total of three horror flicks. Her appearance in Tobe Hooper’s Toolbox Murders was rather unimpressive, but she was up against a master in the lead role with Angela Bettis. Still, she was excellent eye candy. Her true stand out role though, was in her hubby’s first two stabs at film making, House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. Her manic insanity as the Firefly family’s youngest member Baby, is one of sheer WTF!?! and ‘That chick’s nuts!’ All the while, she manages to be cute to boot. Being married to up and coming horror director Rob Zombie, I can almost guratee that she’ll be showing up in all of his flick’s to come. At least we can hope. And hey, that’s not all bad, because Rob sure liked showing off her backside in DR’s, and well, we could all use some more Sheri Moon-moon’s.
There’s a strong chance that many of you have never heard of Misty Mundae. This isn’t so surprising, as up until now she’s stuck mostly to Skinemax levels of pure cinematic trash. But holy crap is she prolific. Taking a look at her imdb page, by the tender young age of 27, she has made 58 films. Every single one them are trashy sendups of something bigger. Take a look at such classics as Spiderbabe, Mummy Raider and my first taste, The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String. While none of her flicks I would consider ‘good’, they’re all chock full of laughs, and Skinematic takes on just about anything you can think of. The girl’s not shy, and you can tell she’s having fun producing the crap she does, and for that, she makes the list.
Oh boy. I need a moment.
Ingrid Pitt may not be as well know on American shores, but she is a stand out of the Hammer Horror Studios. For myself, Ms. Pitt defines ‘womanly’ with her curves alone. Throw in vampire fangs and the polish accent, and well, there you go.
After watching The House that Dripped Blood the Mrs. and I are both in agreement that every house should come with Ingrid Pitt in a coffin installed in the basement.
Linnea Quigley is another woman that defines the term ‘prolific’. With 92 credits on her imdb page, Ms. Quigley has been around the acting block, and nearly every one of them has been cheesy and horrific. Combined with the fact that Quigley is not shy in the least bit, you can pretty gurantee that if you see ‘Linnea Quigley’ in the opening credits, you’re going to get an eyeful! From a nekkid zombie named Trash in The Return of the Living Dead
, to a Hollywood Chainsaw Hooker, you’ll be hard pressed to find an actress that has given so much to the 80′s horror genre. For a pure WTF!?!? moment, take a look at Night of the Demons and watch for where she keeps her lipstick. It’ll warp your gourd, but excite you at the same time.
Last but not least, we have 80′s cutie pie P.J. Soles. Once again PJ isn’t as prolific as others in the CF Scream Queen list, but she’s a fairly big player none the less. Being the first to show the goods in the Carpenter classic Halloween (she was referenced in the rules in Scream dontcha know) and as a sidekick in Stephen King’s Carrie, PJ’s had some roles out there in horrorland. She’s also hollowed out a bit of a niche in the ‘cult’ area as Riff Randall in the 1979 Ramone’s joint, Rock and Roll High School.
Even though she may be best known for receiving the Aunt Jemima treatment in the comedy classic Stripes, PJ has us hooked. You may not remember the name, but I bet you remember the face.
While I did say that PJ Soles was the last but not least, I felt the need to hand out an honorable mention for this year’s list. Nothing says ‘Scream Queen’ more than a guy in Cashmere & Wool skirts with a penchant for horrible horror!
Ed Wood Jr.