Archive for » August, 2005 «
In the beginning, there were slow shambling Romero Zombies.
In the middle, we evolved to lightening fast running Zombies.
In the end, we’ve devoled into……hopping Zombies.
Hopping Zombies? Hopping Zombies.
Fade away to a time long long ago, in midievil China, a crack team of Vampire Hunters (hence the name!) uncover the opened grave of the ‘King of Vampires’. As the ‘King’ sneaks upon the unsuspecting team, much wire fu commences, and epic battle ensues.
Three months pass, and we find that the Master of the Vampire Hunters is now missing, and all that is left is Thunder, Lighting, Wind and Rain. (yes, their names.) A magic vampire compass leads them to the home of the Jiang, in search of their missing master and kings of vampires.
At the start, mucho action and wire fu, and bizarro vampires held rapt attention, and many exclamations of ‘cooooool’ were uttered. Upon the arrival at the Jiang household, the ‘cooools’ become few and far between, as we’re submerged deep into the convulted plot, and general vampire chicanery.
Now, you’re just here about the hopping zombies right? Yes. The hopping zombies. In addition to the magic vampire compass in the command of the crack team of Vampire Hunters, local legend tells that the Jiang household is haunted, and filled with a Master vampire, and his countless undead legions. As we soon come to discover, the Jiang family are masters in the art of preservation of the dead, with a combination of oils, herbs, and wax. The local vampire legend is just that, a story spun by the last remaining memeber of the Jiang family, to keep the locals away from his stockpile of gold, hidden in the family tomb. When a local criminal hires the services of a ‘Zombie Wrangler’ ( i can’t make this stuff up folks) we are treated to his army of hopping zombies, to lead the wax encased corpses of the Jiang family, occupying Papa Jiang, freeing our loveable criminal badass to rustle up some gold. Sorry to dissapoint folks, but I really got no clue as to why the zombies hop. They just do.
From then on out, or four fearless Vampire Hunters, newly reunited with their long lost master, join together, for the final fight with the King. At this point, the plot has become so thick, that you stopped caring about ten minutes ago, but you’re going to keep on trucking, cause you know there’s going to be a badass fight coming up with that king, and that wire fu’s good enough, you just gotta see it. Filled with great fight scenes, competent vampires (and an original take on said vampires), hopping zombies, and much hilarity when watching with the english dub, we’ll give this one a 3 out 5, and a hearty ‘this shit is great when you’re high d00d’.
Looks like high budget effects, and the story line is established, so should be safe for the most part. Of course, we all know how remakes go, with the original Fog being what it was…the question remains…..Why?
I like to keep a running ‘Diary’ of the movies & whatnot that I’ve watched, just a little OCD thingie for myself and anybody who may care. So, If you see the above, well, there ya go.
Some days I’ll be moved enough to comment on the movie, write a little review maybe, what have you. Hence the name ‘Random Droppings’.
So, stay tuned, and feel free to add a blurb if you have any on any of the movies posted, my comments, etc.
“So long, and thanks for all the fish”