A Zombie Apocalypse started by…..Mad Cow Disease? That’s a new one.
Archive for » January, 2006 «
Serves out the water
Yearning for more
Eyes upon a distant shore
To be an artist
To be not a bus boy
By any means
Death may it be
Ya Daddy O
1959. The year of the beatnik. Dobie Gillis need not apply, heâ€™s already arrived. (I feeling it, ya dig?)
Young Walter Paisley is a simple lad. He busses tables at the local beatnik brew pub, night after night listening to the music and poetry of those more talented than he. Walterâ€™s in love with Carla, wants nothing more to be famous and win Carlaâ€™s love. In Walterâ€™s simple mind, thereâ€™s no way Carla could love one such as he, unless he can show some kind of artistic talent! That just wouldnâ€™t jive!
One night while at home in his boarding home apartment, Walter hearâ€™s the landladyâ€™s cat, stuck in the wall. In an effort to save the cat, Walter accidentally kills it. To cover up his accident, Walter decides to encase the cat in modeling clay, and pass it off as a sculpture.
Instantly surprised at his sculpting skill, the denizens of the pub want more more more from the budding artist, and thus begins Walterâ€™s path to fame.
This is Roger Corman here folks, not Shakespeare. Renowned for corn, cheese and cheek, A Bucket of Blood doesnâ€™t disappoint. Hilarity abounds, although dark, as the bumbling Walter falls deeper and deeper into his lies and fame.
Really, like I said before, this is a Corman movie, so thereâ€™s not much else to add. The story sticks, and so do the laughs, and thatâ€™s what you come to see!
4 Snaps out of 5
Great googly moogly folks. This is it. This is quite possibly one of my all time favs, The Monster Squad. The Goonies, with Monsters!
I wonâ€™t go into too much depth on this review, as my fanboy is definitely showing on this one. Growing up, I wore this movie out on VHS!
A group of neighborhood friends, all in love with monster movies, notice a suspicious new neighbor who has moved to town, and drives a hearse. Woah! Monsters! Dracula has come to town, to find a sacred amulet, hidden at Van Helsingâ€™s former mansion. Bringing along his best friends to help in the task, Wolfman, Mummy, The Creature and Frankenstein, they wreak havoc up on the boys, to reach their ultimate goal!
Filled with the 80â€™s, the Monster Squad is a cult classic, that is probably in my top five movies ever. Really, I canâ€™t go on without gushing over it, it wouldnâ€™t be fair. Head over to IMDb, and read up. Youâ€™ll love it, I promise.
5 Wolfman Nards out of 5
Fantastic Four 1/20/06
First off, Iâ€™m a fanboy. I become quite obsessive in the things I love. (Just look at my DVD list) From way back in the day of my comic book infancy, Iâ€™ve always been a fanboy. That said Iâ€™ve never been big on the Fantastic Four. Iâ€™ve read the books, I always felt they were a bit corny, and just werenâ€™t my thing.
So, with the promise of big FX and Jessica Alba, (mostly Jessica Alba) I settled in to watch Fantastic Four, with my five years old.
The story is pretty straight forward. Reed Richards, a big time MIT grad and scientist, grabs his best friend, Ben Grimm, and heads to the officers of Victor Von Doom, Reedâ€™s arch nemesis, and current employer of Reedâ€™s ex, Sue Storm. They head to see Vic, to beg for money, and the use of his space station, to test Reedâ€™s latest theorems on a radioactive space cloud. They grab the pilot, Sueâ€™s younger brother Johnny, and off they go, into the wild blue yonder.
Once upon the station, things backfire, and the cloud shows sooner than expected, and every one is exposed! Erâ€¦exposed to space radiation. Boom. Fantastic Four! Woo! Mix in a bit of Victor Von Doom going crazy because he lost his job, and you have the plot in a nutshell!
Pretty weak on story, heavy on the special effects and Jessica Alba cleavage, Fantastic Four comes out best, at about average. Cornball dialogue, a few sappy sequences, and a pretty sappy villain over all round out the experience. You see, Fantastic Four was pretty much entirely character development. The conflict felt thrown in as an after thought, and there just wasnâ€™t much else.
Still, I found my self grinning like an idiot most of the time, and enjoying myself for the most part. If you take it for what it is, youâ€™ve got a decent popcorn action flick, and a massive setup in hopes of sequels. The other striking aspect of Fantastic Four and maybe itâ€™s due to the simplicity of the story, and the quality of the FX, but kids eat this shit up. They seem to not get enough! My daughter and I have watched this 2 or 3 times already at this point, and she still asks for more. She loved Spider Man, and Spider Man 2, but she doesnâ€™t ask to see them again. Fantastic Four? At least every other week. Take that for what itâ€™s worth!
3 J.A. Cleavageâ€™s out of 5
Farscape 1×07 – PK Tech Girl
Only one this time! Who’d a thunk it!
Okay. I’m biased. We here at Cinema Fromage, tend to lean towards the outthere, and bring you reviews of movies you may never have heard of. Movies from here and far, and mostly, from the gutter of course.
Which brings us to, Night of the Comet.
Way back when in the 80′s, when I was a wee Gooch, I started my love affair with horror movies, and zombie movies. Mind you, back in the 80′s, 6 or 7th grade to be vague, horror flicks used to scare me! Can you believe it!
My favorite thing in the world to do back then, was to invite a couple of my best buds over to spend the night on the weekend, and we’d head to the Video Place in Plymouth. Crappy horror flicks? The Video Place had it. In every shape and form.
So, one night, as we’d become recognizable to the owner, he recommended to us, Night of the Comet. “It’s about this one night, on New Years Eve, and the Earth Passes through the tail of a comet! And then, every body on the planet that was outside, got turned to dust! Some of them got turned into zombies! And some survived!” I didn’t need to hear anymore!
Sure enough, he was spot on with his plot synopsis. Earth, comet, dust, zombies. That’s it in a nutshell folks! However, you get past the simple plot, and you have one of those grand old original and inspired horror romps that the 80′s are known for! A scifi plot, with zombies thrown in! First you have your survivors. The tough, independent 18 year old chick, who works at the movie theatre. Then you have her ditzy pep squad cheering sister, and the badical Latino Heat, the latin dude in the leather jacket with a revolver. Throw them in a radio station, let them go shopping (and dancing) and then you have a couple of zombies show up every once in awhile. Now, keep in mind, these aren’t your normal ‘Braaainssss’ type zombies. They’re talking, and a bit manipulative, but zombies all the same.
Thrown into the mix, was a thinktank of the countries brightest, who believed that the end was nigh, and built themselves an underground bunker, to ride out the comet apocalypse, and continue the human race afterwards. But, geniuses they were, but they forgot to shut the air vents, so they’re turning into zombies too, only slower. With a slight twist, the bunker geniuses set out to rescue survivors, and continue to save the human race.
Again, this was the 80′s, and the 80′s movies staples are all there. Fluorescent clothes, cheese ball slang, choreographed ‘looting’ segment with requisite Cyndi Lauper music, and dancing, etc. etc. It’s all there folks!
Night of the Comet is a true blast from the past, and for this little film nerd, one of the true anchors of my love of cheese and gore. Think of it this way folks….Night of the Comet, helped lead us to Cinema Fromage! I love it that much.
4.5 radical zombo’s out of 5 (remember, this is scored through the rose colored lenses of nostalgia! And butter.)
All I’m going to say about this one….I wanted to like it, I really did. But…it’s a snoozer. It’s well shot, well made, well narrated, just not my cup of tea.
With tongue planted firmly in cheek, Saved! Take a pot shot at the close minded, sometimes hypocritical world of the private Christian schools, and their ilk. Starring Mandy Moore as a bible thumping preppie, Mcauley Culkin as her crippled brother, Jena Malone as the awakening follower, and Patrick Fugit, as the ministers good and love struck son.
Saved takes a look at the life of Mary, as she soon discovers that her highschool sweetheart, is in fact, gay. But, being the school that they are in, this isnâ€™t a lifestyle choice, this is a disease! Before her boyfriend is sent off to the halfway home to cure gay kids, Mary awakes after hitting her head in a pool, to a long haired, bearded construction worker, who has jumped in to save her. After being â€˜visited by Jesusâ€™, Mary believes that Jesus wants her to sleep with her gay boyfriend, to cure him. Upon doing so, Mary soon discovers she is pregnant, and faces nine months at her private Christian school, alone.
Surrounded by a good cast, all with their own plot points to keep you involved through out, Saved! takes a stab at the Christian fundies, without being too slandering in the process. Making you laugh out loud many times at their antics onscreen, the movie goes a long way to point out the hypocrite that can come up, with someone who is blind in their faith. With many subtle takes at the bible itself, (pregnant teenager named Mary anybody?) Saved manages to not be preachy, and being highly entertaining at the same time.
I find it hard to convey just exactly what I liked about this movie so much, without coming across as preachy or slandering myself, so I wonâ€™t. Thatâ€™s not what this is for! Regardless, I found Saved to be really funny, and way better that I thought it would be upon reading the description.
Iâ€™ll give it 4 Hail Maryâ€™s out of 5